


Monsters in Your Head

by ourheroregina



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-29
Updated: 2019-05-31
Packaged: 2020-03-26 19:59:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,169
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19012849
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ourheroregina/pseuds/ourheroregina
Summary: Written for OQ Prompt Party Week 2019, Day 3 (Wednesday). Prompts: 105. Regina and Robin are surprised to find that Roland has magic. and 110. Roland is secretly Regina’s biological child.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> TRIGGER WARNINGfor emotional abuse and deception.

 

Robin is talking with Little John when all of a sudden a terrified scream echoes through the camp. The heart stops beating in Robin’s chest as he quickly turns towards the source of the sound, his legs taking him there while his brain still try to catch up with what he’s just heard.

It is Roland who’s screaming.

The sound is frightening, not one that he lets out when Will beats him to his games or when he falls down from the tree. It’s a scream full of fear, of fear that has Robin’s mind filling with horrible images.

“Let go of him!” Robin yells when he finally sees Roland. The Dark One is with him, the man who Regina calls her worst enemy, but close friend, is holding Roland tied to the tree by some magic force and Robin is taking his bow, aiming his arrow to the beast immediately.

The Dark One lets that maniacal giggle that makes goose bumps appear on his arms, and then Roland is screaming again, this time his voice pained and faltering.

“What do you need from my son? Let him go!” Robin repeats, holding the arrow and bow in his now trembling hands.

“I just found out our dearest Regina has been keeping secrets from us,” Rumpelstiltskin hisses, making his way towards Roland, completely ignoring the arrow aimed at him. “Your precious boy is the result of not only soulmates connection, but he’s the mix of the darkest magic and the purest heart. You have no idea what a person like me can do with this power.”

The Dark One’s words make no sense to Robin, but he doesn’t have enough time to overthink that because then the beast is touching Roland’s face, gripping his chin tightly and forcing the boy to look at him. Robin releases the arrow, aiming it to the Dark One’s heart, but the arrow stops right before touching him.

“Did you really think _that_ is going to kill me?” He giggles, not even glancing at Robin. A simple wave of his hands and the arrow is turned around and flying towards Robin, the sharp point of it piercing through Robin’s chest, it all happening in a blink of an eye.

It has Robin falling to his knees immediately, the pain making his mind dizzy, the screams of Roland turning louder and louder. All he can think about is his precious boy, and despite the arrow in his chest he tries to turn, to reach for his bow that’s fallen on the grass beside him.

All of a sudden the screams stop and there’s a purple smoke beside him that makes Robin sigh in relief. Regina’s here, she’ll save Roland, she’s make sure he’s fine, she-

When the magic disappears, Roland collapses beside Robin and there’s no one beside him, Regina is not there. His tiny palms are shaking as he grabs the arrow protruding from his father‘s chest and closes his eyes tightly.

He’s crying, his sweet boy is crying, but his eyes are shining purple and the arrow is slowly pulled out of Robin’s chest, no pain, not a drop of blood following its exit. Those tiny palms are placed over his heart then and Roland is shaking, this whole body is trembling violently when Robin feels the tingling sensation in his chest, the one he feels when Regina mends all of his wounds.

As soon as the pain is gone completely and Robin doesn’t feel dizzy anymore, Roland collapses on the grass beside his father, his teary eyes still shining of that magical shade of purple. Robin sits up immediately and pulls Roland into his arms, whispering sweet nothings into his ear as he fights his shock.

Did it really just happen or was all of it a dream?

“Did he just… use magic?”

Robin blinks his eyes and looks up to find John standing a few feet away from them, his mouth opened in surprise as he stares at Roland who’s now quietly crying in Robin’s arms.

“I don’t… I,” Robin stands up on shaky legs; the adrenaline and fear still are coursing through his veins. “I have to see Regina,” he finally says and then he’s running out of the woods towards town, all the while clutching Roland’s trembling body tightly to himself.

His son has magic.

(…)

“Tell me again what happened,” Regina asks as she sets the glass of whiskey in front of Robin.

He empties it in one gulp, his hands still trembling from all the shock.

Regina’s managed to calm Roland down with a sedative potion, coaxing him to stop crying and rest. He’s been adamant to let go of Robin, the fear of losing his father still evident in his fearful eyes, and Robin has laid down with him on the couch in Regina’s office, stroked his curly hair until the boy finally calmed down and fell asleep.

“Roland has magic,” Robin says probably for the umpteenth time, his voice still full of surprise. “He escaped the Dark One and … saved me.”

Regina glances at the sleeping Roland, then turns back to Robin, running her hands through her hair. “Why would Rumple threaten Roland? How did he even know that he has magic?” she asks herself confused before she refills Robin’s glass and sits down beside him on the armchair.

Robin shrugs, taking a sip of the whiskey. He then turns to Regina and says, “The Dark One was saying something about Roland being the result not only of soul mate’s connection, but also of dark magic and pure soul. ” He stops for a moment, still not being able to understand the ridiculous words. “Marian had a pure soul, true, but I’m not evil. No matter how dark my intentions or actions got, it never was… that. His words make no sense.”

When he looks up to Regina, she’s looking at him with teary eyes, the glass in her hands shaking. Robin frowns at her, but stretches his hand out to take hers in a comforting manner. Marian is still a sore spot for both of them with the revelation that the Evil Queen was indeed the one to kill her and then all that Zelena fiasco, but it has never made her so emotional.

“Are you okay?” he asks confused.

Regina stands up, but she’s shaking, her hands trembling, her legs too, to the point that she has to grip the table to keep herself upright. Her breathing has turned into a labored one, and she’s gasping for air, so Robin gets up quickly and rushes to her side.

“Regina, breathe,” he wraps his arms around her and slowly turns her, leads her a few steps until she sits down on the chair again. “Breathe with me,” he asks her, kneeling in front of her, holding her hands tightly in his, inhaling slowly, counting to ten and then exhaling. She doesn’t follow his instructions, but after a few moments she manages to slow her gasps and slowly tries to breathe with Robin, her hands twitching in his.

When she finally is able to talk again, she shakes her head, looks away from Robin. The tears start rolling down her cheeks as she whispers a quiet, “I’m so sorry.”

“You have nothing to be sorry about. We all panic sometimes, yeah? It’s alright.”

“No, Robin, I-“ she stops, grimaces and then inhales deeply and continues, “I did something terrible years ago. I never thought somebody would find out about it, but it seems that Rumple did. And he will tell you, of course he will, so I have to do it first.”

“I don’t follow.”

She closes her eyes, sighs and tells him, “I killed Marian, but not when you think I did. These memories are not real, _that Marian_ is not real.”

“What?”

“When we were back in the Enchanted Forest and Snow was still on the run, there were rumors that she was hiding in your camp, so of course, I had to investigate. Using glamor I showed up to you as a little boy, as an outlaw, then as an injured woman, but you never took me to your camp. So I stepped up my game and decided to kill someone from your band and pretend to be her.”

“Regina, I-“

“I killed Marian not long after your wedding.”

Her words have Robin releasing her hands as if she was poisonous and standing up, taking a step back while his mind is exploding. He has memories of Marian, so many memories after their wedding, and Roland, and her being pregnant of Roland. She was not dead, Regina is lying, she’s-

“With the help of magic, I made myself look like her.” Regina admits, tears falling down her cheeks. Robin can’t understand, he’s shaking his head, tears in his own eyes as he stares at her in disbelief. She must be lying. “Of course, I didn’t want anyone to suspect that something was off, so I pretended to be your wife and outlaw and-“

“You did to me the same that Zelena did,” He manages to say, feeling the bile raising up his throat. He’s going to be sick.

Regina swallows hard, but nods her head. “To my surprise, I got pregnant. I knew Snow White wasn’t in your camp, but there was this child now, and, well, as horrible as I was, I didn’t want to kill it. I also didn’t want to raise it, so I kept pretending to be Marian and as soon as Roland was born, I left. I found a girl who agreed to poise as Marian for the time until it looked the right time to end Marian’s existence.”

“You’re lying.”

“I’m not.” Regina shakes her head, her voice breaking. “I’m so ashamed of what I did. And when Zelena did the same to you, I realized that she knew about my crimes. I threatened her to keep her mouth shut and never tell anyone a thing. Seems like my sister doesn’t know how to keep a secret.”

“You’re a monster!” Robin takes a step back, barely being able not to fall down. All of it was a lie. His whole life was a lie. He’s been used by Regina the same way he’s been used by Zelena. What is worse, though, Regina would’ve never told him the truth, she would have kept this secret forever if not the Dark One.

All this time she acted as if she hasn’t ruined his life.

“Roland didn’t have magic when he was born, so I thought nobody would be interested in him, but it turns out I was wrong. His magic is powerful, Robin, and strong, and Rumple will do whatever it takes to ruin my life by making Roland suffer.”

“He’s not your son,” Robin says, shaking his head. It seems that it’s all he can do at this point. “He’s mine and Marian’s. You’re not his mother.”

“I wish that was true, Robin, but it’s not. He’s my son,” she tells him, slowly standing up from the chair and making her way towards him.

He takes a step back and then another until his back hits the wall. He’s not afraid of Regina, he’s not, but the revelation has him disgusted, even the sight of her makes him want to throw up. She’s a monster, a true monster who’s ruined countless of lives, including his.

“Don’t touch me,” he asks when she puts her hands on his shoulder. “Please, don’t touch me.”

But she doesn’t listen, instead her grip on his shoulders tightens and she starts shaking him.

“Robin, wake up!”

Regina’s voice is shaking and suddenly they’re not in her office anymore, but in some dark and cold place. Robin opens his eyes and finds Regina looking at him, her eyes full of tears as she continues to shake him. When their gazes meet, she sighs in relief and starts sobbing immediately.

“Oh my God, you’re alive!” she exclaims, wrapping her arms around him, pressing her lips against his, but Robin’s whole body is aching, it feels like he’s been torn apart, like the bones in his body has been broken, and then there’s that disgust he feels when she touches him, the disgust that’s brought by the realization that she’s used and abused him.

“Let go of me,” he tries to push her away, but everything hurts so much. He yelps a few times in pain until she finally releases him and once he’s free, he tries to move away from her. It’s then that he sees the chains around his wrists and ankles, metal holding him to the wall.

He looks at Regina, then at the chains, then back at Regina, and finally, when the mess in his head gets to be too much, when he realizes that he’s trapped somewhere with this monster, he starts screaming, the world around him breaking into pieces along with his heart.

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Written for OQ Prompt Party 2019, Day 5 (FRIDAY).  
> Prompt: 153. Robin’s soul wasn’t obliterated, but instead was sent to the worst part of Hell as punishment for loving the Evil Queen and Regina just found out.
> 
>  
> 
> TRIGGER WARNING for blood, vague mentions of violence and torture

Her heart is hammering in her chest, her legs barely supporting her, but she keeps moving, she keeps pushing through the darkness of this tunnel, trying not to throw up from the smell and the view around her.

It’s the worst part of Hell and compared to what they’ve seen when they were in the Underworld for the first time it was an easy walk, this is the _real_ Hell, the place of people being tortured, of skin being flayed of whose who still, in some way, are feeling.

 She has already lost count of how many monsters, demons and people she has killed here(is it even the right word to describe what she’s done to them since they were already dead?), she’s lost count on how many deals she’s made that will cost her a lot. But nothing matters because she’s getting closer and closer to Robin.

It was Henry who accidentally found out that Hades lied when he said the crystal obliterates the soul. With that revelation, they all started looking for clues as to where Robin’s soul could have gone. At that point it didn’t even matter if he could be brought back or not, all Regina wanted to know was that his soul was someplace safe.

After making deals with Rumple and travelling through realms, she got her answers. One part of her wished that she never found out the truth, though.

Robin was sent to the worst part of Hell for loving her. He’s been trapped in there for years because he chose to love _the Evil Queen_.

 There was no way to get him out of there, or so the new ruler of Hell said, but nothing could stop Regina, so after promising her soul to the monster after her death, she was allowed into the said worst part of Hell.

There’s something running down her cheek and when she wipes her hand and flashes the flashlight to it, she realizes that she’s bleeding. Her last fight with a demon had her thrown and flying a few times, no wonder there is a bit of blood.

There are more places that are bleeding, her arm has been slit open, her side is all purple from the bruises, even her cheek is blue, her lip cut, and she’s pretty sure there are a few broken bones. It all hurts and as much as she hates to admit it, slows her down, but she keeps moving, she keeps going further and further into the darkness and she won’t stop until she finds Robin.

It seems like she’s been in this dungeon forever and she thinks that maybe it’s time she sits down because her head is getting dizzy and vision blurred, but then she sees him. There’s someone chained to the wall, someone who’s screaming and twisting, and that someone sounds very similar to Robin.

Regina runs towards that someone, and her heart literally stops beating when she realizes that it is actually Robin. He looks awful, bruised all over, she can barely recognize his face, but it’s Robin and he’s alive!

She falls to her knees beside him, her hands gripping his shoulders to stop him from shaking. All she wants to do is wrap her arms around him and never let him go again. Never.

 “Wake up, Robin!” she asks, trying to hold him tightly to the ground, but he’s stronger, so much stronger than she is and she almost gets thrown away by his kicking.

“Robin, please!” she pleads, her voice shaking as she tries to hold him still, tries to get him out of wherever his mind is.

It takes lots of struggling until he finally opens his eyes, but they’re wild, confused and terrified. He pushes her again with such force and he’s looking at her as if he doesn’t recognize her, as if she’s the biggest monster he’s ever encountered.

She’s crying now, sobbing freely because he’s alive, he’s not well, but he’s alive, and she moves closer to him carefully. He looks at her bewildered, and she tries to tell him that they’re in Hell, but she’ll get him out of here, but he’s not listening, it seems like he’s not even there with her because after a few glances at her, he starts screaming.

It takes Regina by surprise, has goose bumps appearing on her skin from the sounds coming from his mouth. She tries to get him to listen to her, tries to calm him in some way, but nothing works, and he’s not here, he’s not in his right mind, so Regina, with an aching heart, does the only thing that enters her mind.

She pushes her hand into his chest and quickly takes out his heart, the action making Robin even more hysterical, but she quickly whispers for him to calm down, to listen to her, and he stops screaming, his face twisted with disgust when she commands him to look at her.

Something terrible must’ve happened to him.

“Now I’m going to free you and you’re going to follow me out of this dungeon.” She orders him and when he doesn’t reply, she waves her hand over the chains. They unlock, but not from the first try – she’s drained, her magic is not as strong as it used to be – and then she helps Robin to his feet. He flinches away from her touch and is about to protest, but she’s already forbade all the fighting, so instead he just grips her tighter and lets her lead him out of the dungeon.

When they walk past the monster who now has possession of Regina’s soul, he smirks at her, but Regina just keeps walking, reminding himself that she’s still alive and she’ll find a way to break this awful deal.

(…)

“I’m sorry,” Mary Margaret says when she presses the cloth damp with alcohol to the wound on Regina’s arm. Regina hisses not for the first time and rolls her eyes at Mary Margaret’s apology; compared to all she’s been through, the sting of a wound is nothing.

She glances at Robin who’s finally peacefully sleeping in bed, covered by thick blankets. The journey back was exhausting and when they were finally safe and Regina returned him his heart, he started fighting her again, looking at her as if she was some kind of a monster.

She tried not to make a big deal out of it. She has no idea what he’s been through, and by the sight of it, it looks like being in Hell for so long affected not only his physical, but also his mental state. He hasn’t recognized Mary Margaret or David at first, and only lied down to bed when David and Killian basically dragged him there.

He’s not himself. He’s not in his right mind. That much is obvious.

“Do you think he’ll get better?” Regina asks, looking at a sleeping Robin. Even in his sleep he’s twisting and turning, probably still tortured by nightmares.

“He will,” Mary Margaret tells her without hesitation. “But until he does, you need to get yourself sorted out. He’ll need you, Regina, so please, go to the hospital, get checked out .”

“I won’t leave him.”

“I’ll be here all the time, and David will. Robyn is coming home too. He won’t be alone. And your trip to the hospital won’t even take an hour. We’ll stay here until you come back. Nothing bad will happen.”

“I’ll fix myself when my magic returns, don’t worry,” she dismisses and looks at the wound on her arm, the one who was done by the ruler of Hell as a sign that she belongs to him. She wonders if that scar is not the reason why her magic is so suddenly absent.

(…)

Things don’t get better. Robin is confused, he hardly recognizes people and he’s afraid of Regina, actually afraid of her. Sometimes he’s sane enough to talk with Robyn, his daughter, and he seems calmer when she’s around, but once Regina enters the room he changes, everything in his posture changes, his eyes turning wide and terrified.

When Roland finally comes from the Enchanted Forest now a grown man, Robin is relieved. However, he keeps asking Roland who is his mother and to please tell him that he has no magical powers. It all seems strange, but nobody questions him, and every time Robin asks, Roland replies that Marian is his mother, and no, he doesn’t have magic, never had.

Robin seems to be getting better with Robyn and Roland beside him, he even starts eating. He’s still too weak to get out of bed so the three of them spend all of their time in Regina’s bedroom while she sits outside the room on a chair with tears in her eyes because he’s let everyone he cared about get close to him, everyone but her.

Dr. Hopper starts coming to the house and at first it’s a mess, because Robin doesn’t speak, he refuses to tell whatever has happened to him. But the cricket reminds Robin that he’s not there anymore, that he’s back in Storybrooke and that more than 15 years have passed since he left Storybrooke. After a few weeks this talking thing starts walking, and Robin finally gets the handle of this new life, he finally realizes where he is. Or at least Roland tells her so.

It’s been more than three months now of daily therapy and Archie says that Robin will get better, he’s already getting better. However, when the cricket walks down the stairs and into the kitchen tonight, he seems conflicted.

“Regina, we need to talk.”

 Regina doesn’t even mind Archie’s usage of her name instead of her title anymore; she simply nods her head and motions for him to sit down. The last few months drained her out as well and if she’s a bit out of herself, nobody can blame her.

He sits down and looks at her with sympathy in his eyes. Regina already hates whatever he’s going to say.

“Robin has opened up about some things that happened to him in the Underworld,” he starts, and Regina feels her heart picking up its rhythm. “It obviously affected him a lot and for now, he’s not able to deal with it. As you must’ve realized, whatever happened there involves you.”

Regina sighs. She suspected that.

For a moment she thinks that she would make Archie tell her exactly what happened if she still had her magic, but it’s gone, so she just lets him continue.

“I think it’s best if Robin moves back to his camp. He’s not comfortable here. Being around his friends could help him recover. The woods have a healing power, you know.”

“He’s not comfortable around me, that’s what you wanted to say, right?” Regina asks, not being able to keep the pain and anger out of her voice.

“If we want for him to recover completely, you have to let him go for now,” Archie insists, ignoring her outburst. “He’s lived in that same cycle of events for fifteen years, Regina. You have to understand that some things that have not actually happened, when repeated so many times in one’s head can seem quite real.”

Regina just sighs and stands up from the chair. “He’s not my prisoner. He’s free to leave whenever he wants.”

(…)

Roland hugs her tightly and if Regina tears up a bit, he pretends to not notice. He promises her that he’ll update her on Robin’s progress and then turns around to walk to the car where Robin is sitting, looking straight in front of himself as if even a glance at Regina would make him sick.

When the car drives out of her yard and disappears down the road, Regina shuts the door behind herself. She doesn’t even make it to the bedroom, she collapses on the stairs and cries.

If she still had her magic, she would definitely take her broken heart out and maybe, just maybe, she would crush it.

 


End file.
